Parentless

-I am parentless- is something I never thought I would say at the age of 31. It's something no one should have to say at the age of 31. From a very young age, I knew my dad would not be around to see much of my adult milestones, but never did I imagine, that my mother (17 years younger than my dad) would be gone while I was still in my early 30's. Then again, my brother is parentless at the age of 28. Something just doesn't sit right with me about that, when I see plenty of people in their 50's whose parents are still alive.. Yes, life isn't fair.. and I understand that. It doesn't make it any easier though.

My dad lived until he was 80. He lived a long and full life. My mom passed away at 68 years old. Doesn't seem long enough.. Her mom lived until she was 89 - that's a whole 21 years longer than my mom. It may sound selfish, but I feel like I was cheated of many more years of happy times with my mom. I miss her more than words can even say. It's upsetting that Adriana will never get to know her gramma Iannone. I want her back.

I also know that I need to focus on all good times we shared: the memories, the happiness, the fun family vacations, the laughter we shared, the tears we cried together, the bond we had, our special shared hobbies... It's just so damned hard to focus on that when I miss her so badly. 

I'm a fatherless daughter.

I'm a motherless daughter.

I'm a parentless parent.

Hard to move passed these statements. Somehow, someday I will get passed them.. but for now, it's still too fresh to get out of my mind.


RIP - Rudy Luigi Iannone    1/1/1928 - 10/03/2008

RIP - Margaret Mary Iannone    9/10/1945 - 10/13/2013